LIFE UPDATE

APRIL 10, 2020

DAY 2:

It's past 4 in the morning and I haven't sleep yet. I guess my body was so used to in our late night talks. A lot of realization actually but one thing remains constant, I am officially missing you big time.

A lot of things bugging my mind. I kinda wish this self quarantine that we've agreed on ends now because I am actually holding myself as much as I can not to disrupt you. Everytime that you felt like I wasn't thinking of you, uhm maybe like why did I not messaging you please I want you to know that everytime I do, I almost do. Everytime that I don't message it takes so much in me not to call you in the middle of the night just to say that I'm missing my baby so much.

Guess it's a natural phase of mine again. Sad and happy moments. Sappy hours indeed.

I want to distract myself by watching movies. Netflix and chill you know, but I can't get you off my mind. I wanted to know every details of you. I wanted to know how your day went and how was you, I mean what usually comes into your mind or actually what are you feeling right now because if you would actually ask me what am I feeling right now? I'm sad, afraid and happy.

Sad. Maybe because I wasn't used to this kind of setup of ours. I am used to by your presence. Sad because I miss you so much and I can't do anything about when you are overwhelmed by your thoughts.

Afraid. Maybe because of my fear of abandonedment. I'm afraid that we'd fall apart after this but baby if you felt that way let me know. I'm kinda hatin' this feeling right now. Although, I know that you miss me too. I am afraid of losing you that's why I felt this.

Happy. I'm sure I felt this because I know you are recovering step by step. Baby, please do know that you should forgive yourself first. Me and "you know who" guy, talked last morning and he apologizes and me also. I can sense his sincerity when he said that he is not mad of me and to you also. He cuts the tie between us because it is the best thing that he cand to help me and him and you to recover. He doesn't hold any grudges to you. Worry not. 

I guess I should end my mornight thoughts here. 

Good Morning baby. Maybe we aren't done talking if it was a normal day of us. Hahaha.
_________

This afternoon. I am late again pfftt. I ate and decided to watch another movie. I watched "The Tale of Prncess Kaguya" the movie was great and actually it is calming to the point that I fell asleep while watching it. I don't know how many times I fell asleep but this is recommendable.

At 4 in the afternoon, I decided to cook a Polvoron and decided to make an experimental on the ingredients. I enjoyed although it's a bit tiring because when you make this classic merienda it requires great effort.

By the way, Kurt visits us again. He is playing and actually learn to call me Mama LMAO! My aunt and cousin got the chance to taste my polvoron and low-key wished you're here to eat this polvoron with you.

Evening sky has come. I spent most of my time by watching television and eating. I'm not feeling well tho. At midnight, I always came back in your blog and read again and again your entry. I love your new entry. 

I spent my time again until 2 am by playing ML and I saw you're online. I'd like to send an invitation but I don't want to disturb you though because it's your me time. 

Hope you did enjoy your day. I'll get going for the mean time! Good night.

P.S I'm glad you're loving my favorite series on YouTube :)

P.P.S I hope you're doing fine. I love your website btw and you're content. ＼(^o^)／

-CPV2020